Believe me when I tell you I am the last person that wants to make a decision. It does not matter how simple the question is, I do not want to make a decision. I have found out that this is because I am fearful of making the wrong decision. I often think if I choose one option verses the other it could mean life or death. For example, if I was trying to decide between two colleges I would believe that I would either live or die depending on which choice I made. I am often so sure that one of the options will lead to my death. Another reason I am fearful of making decisions is I understand that going to one college will give me a totally different friend group, relationship, and spiritual experience than the other. I basically am choosing between two lives. One which leads to happiness and the other which leads to sadness. I know that may sound extreme, but it is genuinely how my mind processes decisions until I just decide not to choose.
My future is where I am struggling most with this right now. I am horrified of what could come of my life. I have many different fears when I look into my future, but they all have the same affect. They cripple me with fear, anger, and sadness. I become so overwhelmed with what could go wrong in the future that I do not even glance at what could go right. I would be lying if I said this does not affect me too bad. Truth is, it has recently been the source of my sadness and frustration. I am fearful of never meeting someone and having a family of my own. I am fearful I will have to go out of state for my career. I am fearful I will not enjoy my job one day. The list goes on and on and on. My mind is constantly tossing between each possible negative outcome of my life and I allow the fear of it coming true to cripple me. The saddest part is it is keeping me from living today. I am so busy worrying about my future that I am not enjoy the present. I do not want to look back on my life and realize I wasted it in fear of my future all because I did not trust God with it.
God’s will is something I have been praying for throughout my days. The thing is I do not think I truly understood what I was praying for until recently. It was just a routine prayer. Something I felt I had to pray for because I had heard about it at church, but I never understood its importance until now. I do not struggle with being in control unless it involves my future. That is the only area of my life I fight for control in and I have a very hard time giving that up to God. But recently God brought me through a storm. A breakup that absolutely broke me for a while. I was so angry because the morning of, I had prayed for God’s will to be done in that area of my life without even an inkling of a breakup coming my way. I was beyond angry that God chose that for me. How could He be okay putting me through so much pain? Truth is He was not putting me through pain, but saving me. Isaiah 42:16 speaks to these times in our lives. It explains that God brings us out of darkness into light, and turns rugged places into plains. I have been through many rugged places in my life, but God has always turned them into plains. The beautiful thing is, I was not in a good place with Him and He knew I would not find myself in Him again unless it was only Him and I. I have never been so grateful for pain in my life. Now I can look back at myself not trusting God’s plan for me at all, yet He was faithful. I came out of that dark time stronger than ever spiritually and mentally, which has led to so much joy. This was the turning point for me. Now that I have personally witnessed God take something I wanted for my future, showed me why it was not good for me, and brought me growth and joy, I trust Him. I have a much easier time giving Him the reins of my life and allowing him to steer.
Allowing God’s will to play out in your life will bring you so much freedom and peace. Once you understand that, it becomes easier to trust Him. Prayer is a powerful tool that will help you in this area. Pray for discernment,trust, and for God to take the wheel in order to allow His will to be done in your life. Never cease praying for this. You will always have a future coming to trust God with. Proverbs 3:5-6 exclaims to trust God, not yourself, with your future and He will make your paths straight. It is so easy for us to see the exact future we want and try our hardest to make it happen. We do this without even considering God and what He has planned. As much as we want to believe our plan for our own lives is perfect, it isn’t. God may have a completely different plan for you that leads to better things. No matter what the “better” would be, it would 100% be better than what you could have brought yourself. I know it is hard to admit, but it is true. Look back on all the good, bad, and in between in your life and see where God was molding you and your life into something better than before. It is amazing what He can do, so trust Him. There is so much proof in your life of Him working for your good and He will do the same for your future.
Let go of the fear of tomorrow and live in joy today. We waste so much time worrying about our future instead of giving God control, and we spend our days unhappy. If you are like me, take a step back and allow God to take control. On the other hand, some people struggle more with caring too little about their future. This may be you. Maybe it is because you genuinely trust God with it or maybe it is because you are too scared to work towards anything. There are numerous reasons you may be on the lazy side with your future, but that is not a good thing. It is good to give God control, but you still have to work for your future. You have to do the school work, the studying, the interviews, the early mornings, etc. You cannot just do absolutely nothing and expect God to drop an amazing future in your front yard one morning. So for those of you who treat your future this way, take a step forward. Step towards working at your future more and add a little concern towards it in a healthy way.
No matter where you are in your feelings toward your future, there is only one truth. God’s got it. You just have to allow Him to lead you into your future. Look back on all His righteousness and love towards you, and allow that to be a reminder that you can fully trust Him with your life.
Kokonaomi
