Two years have passed since I have even touched this blog. It has been a
very long two years. Within two years I have moved twice, changed, grown, and
worked on finding myself. After my last post I seemed to lose my way. Although
I had Jesus with me every step, I was no longer fully focused on him.
Instead I focused on school, friendships, work, and worldly things. It truly breaks my
heart. As much as I now wish I continued seeking Christ and serving him through
this blog, I did not. But I am now. There are many times in scripture we are
told to not to dwell on our past, but to live in the present, and I am learning
how to do that. We see this in Genesis 16:26, which says, “But Lot’s wife
looked back, and she became a pillar of salt” and Isaiah 43:18-19 says,
“Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See I am doing a new
thing!”. These verses are only two examples that came
to my mind on this subject, but there are many more. Dwelling in our past
cannot change anything but can negatively affect how we live in the present.
Instead of looking at the past, look in the present at how you have grown,
changed, and how God has been present through that.
While being off my blog for two years a lot has changed. One thing I have
learned about satan in this time is that he knows exactly how to attack you and
exactly how to get to you in order to pull you away from God. For me, he
attacked my mental health and threw so many questions at me that I became
confused. I began questioning so much about my faith that I left my blog
feeling not good enough to help others spiritually. When I moved for the second
time in two years, I moved into a place by myself. Something I never believed I
could ever do, but something I am proud of. However, with this move came
loneliness. I still have a few INCREDIBLE friends in my life, but they do not
live in the same city as me. So, after I moved satan made his move to attack
me, and he did a good job. I hit a low after moving and would be lying if I told
you I am 100% better today. I turned to worldly things and instead of leading
others to Christ, I could have easily been leading them away unintentionally. I
am sure you have been in that place before. A place of intense loneliness,
sadness, and all you can get yourself to do is turn to the world. Absolutely I
knew that I would find nothing there and everything in Jesus, but I am not
going to pretend I am perfect. None of us are perfect, and that is okay! No
matter where you are in your walk with Jesus, he is with you and loves you!
I have been seeing the same therapist for a couple years now and she helped
me come to a place where I realized I was majorly lacking in spiritual
community. I had been in my new city for months and could not get myself to try
new churches alone again in a new city, but that was what I needed to do. I
eventually was able to scrape myself off my couch one Sunday and started trying
churches. Fast forward three weeks and I can rejoice in the fact I found a
church home. Since then, my relationship with Christ has been growing daily and
I am getting back to the place I used to be spiritually. A place of feeling
loved daily, even when spending my days alone. A place of wanting to spend my
entire life bringing others to Jesus so they can find eternity and the same
love and peace I have through Jesus. Man, I want that for everyone. So, here I
am doing that the way I know how. Even if one is reached, one coming to Christ
makes heaven rejoice and oh how beautiful that is.
I now want to stress to you the importance of spiritual community and having
a church home that you attend regularly. I have seen many posts on social media
about believers not having to go to church on Sundays or Bible studies on
Wednesdays because that is not what salvation is. Yes, that is true. Salvation
is not found in our works, including going to church. You could go to church
every Sunday for your entire life, but that is not what saves you. However,
church is extremely important for believers, and we see this in scripture.
Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to
love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some,
but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing
near” and Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one, because
they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can
help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them
up”. If we are not in church and community with other believers then it is
extremely easy for satan to pull you away, and trust me, he will. I have seen
it happen time and time to me, and I am sure you can remember times like this
as well. We are called to surround ourselves with followers of Christ so when
satan does attack us and we fall, we have others to encourage us and help
pull us closer to Christ. As followers of Christ, satan wants nothing more than to
pull us away because he knows the difference we can make, even in one person’s life.
I encourage you to find a church home if you do not have one and to surround
yourself with believers daily. When you fall, allow them to help you up. That
is what we are called to do for each other. To help each other through the hard
times, the lonely times, and the times we have strayed. We cannot do this on
our own. We cannot do it without Jesus and without community to help. If you
have any questions regarding finding a good church or community, send me a dm
on the social media pages linked, or send me an email! I would love to help.
Kokonaomi
