Mental Health. A term I did not really understand until I was in college. Now I research a lot about mental health so that I cannot only better understand myself, but also others I come in contact with. Mental health is extremely important. It is important because it affects our spiritual and physical health. One of the most frustrating things to me about it is that I cannot control it. This frustrates me because I WANT to choose happiness and I WANT to choose anxiety-free thoughts, but that is not how it works. If dealing with mental health, you do not get to choose your emotions and how your mind works. I am begging you to understand this fact.
I grew up with a mind that was full of stress and worry. I worried not only about myself, but also about the safety of my family. If it was something to possibly worry or stress about, I did. Overall, I was okay mentally. I stressed and worried about normal things like school and safety, but that was all. Everything changed for me drastically my sophomore year of college. I was shopping at a mall when there was a shooting. This was when my mental health issues I face today began. I do not want to go into too much detail at this moment, but I do want the stigma of mental health to change. I developed PTSD, anxiety, and more recently, Bipolar Depression. It is exhausting constantly having to fight my own mind. It is like I never know how I am going to be feeling.. ever.
Maybe you have been diagnosed with things I have as well. Maybe you have been diagnosed with something I do not have. Either way, mental illness is very real and is very different for everyone. Even if you struggle with anxiety, it will look very different from mine. Have an open mind towards everyone’s mental health and how it affects them. Every illness presents completely different, and even presents different depending on the person.
I am far from having my mental health under control, but I am working very hard on it. I have been using every tool possible to help me. I am in counseling, on medication, and seeking help from God. That being said, there is a big stigma on medication. My take on medication and counseling is that God placed those resources on this earth for us to use. They truly work and are both things that you should look into if needed. However, God does want you to run to Him with these things. The Bible speaks of many different people who struggled with anxiety and depression, and how they overcame them. Anxiety is able to get ahold of us when we stop focusing on God and focus on our fears that are not even true. For me, my anxiety is extremely bad at night. I wake up having an anxiety attack quite often in fear of my life and my mind convinces itself that someone is in the house coming to kill me. Seems ridiculous, right? Wrong. This is extremely real for me, and for many others who experience anxiety the way I do. How can God help with this? Prayer, meditation, and refocusing. In these times, although it is extremely difficult, try to refocus your thoughts onto God. You may need to physically pick up your Bible and read it. One thing that helped me with my PTSD was writing down verses about fear on notecards and placing them everywhere possible for me to find. I placed them in my car, my backpack, books, literally everywhere. I did this because my fight or flight never turned off, and I needed those verses everywhere. Try this and place them where you seem to go into anxiety attacks or panic attacks so you have them to refocus your mind. Meditation comes off of those verses you use. Meditate daily and constantly on verses that help calm you down, and remind you of God’s goodness. This helps keep the fearful thoughts out of your mind because you are busy focusing on God. Another way to refocus is to Pray. Prayer is extremely powerful, and oftentimes, underestimated. Philippians 4:6-7 tells us to not worry, but pray about everything. I know it is not easy to pray during those moments. I know that sounds wild, but prayer is far from my mind in those moments. This is where notecards and quotes come in handy as well. You will be able to see those items and remember God is there, in control, and wanting you to turn to Him.
I am new to dealing with depression. Bipolar depression has hit me hard. I will find myself on extreme highs, unable to hold in my energy, an extreme insomniac, and in the next few minutes can be at my lowest of lows. There is no time limit on my highs or lows. They come and go, and I am not sure why yet. I am still trying to learn about it and how to deal with it at this moment. The Bible does speak to depression, though. David is just one of many examples. Although a king, he struggled with awful depression and sadness. Through the depression, I promise God has not forgotten you. I know you feel completely alone and stuck, but He is there. Isaiah 44:21 tells us that we will not be forgotten by God. Satan wants you to feel alone. He is good at it. He tricks me with it all the time. The feelings and emotions that come with depression are indescribable and often not understood by anyone. I believe no one can understand what it is like to struggle with mental health if not diagnosed with it themselves.
I do not have my life together and I definitely do not have my mental health under control. As much as I would love to make it look I have it all together and am always happy, that is just not the truth. I have gotten pretty good at making it seem like I am doing great in person, then fall apart later at home. Check in on your friends. Even the ones you think have everything going for them and are never upset about anything. You truly never know what is going on in their mind until you ask.
For those of you struggling with mental health seek out a diagnosis first. Never self diagnosis or claim to have something that has not been diagnosed. Next, check out counseling and medication. Take care of yourself by learning to say “no” to things and by loving on yourself extra. Seek joy from God and please talk to a friend about how your feeling. It may be scary to talk about at first, but those moments when your in your mind and alone are even scarier.
Check out my “personal” post to find information on a book I use. It has important topics like depression and anxiety that I use to find specific verses fast. Here are some verses to check out on anxiety and depression.
Anxiety: Job 23:8-9, Psalm 73:2-3, Proverbs 12:25, 1 Peter 5:7, Isaiah 41:10
Depression: Proverbs 18:14, Psalm 69:1-3, Psalm 5:1-3, Psalm 9:12, Psalm 43:5.
You are loved. You are important. You are strong. You are not crazy.
Please reach out to me if you need to talk about your mental health or have questions. I am here for you and want to help.
Kokonaomi
