I have felt really guilty lately for not keeping up with my blog. I love to write and express myself in that way, but life has been a whirlwind lately. A whole bunch of unexpected events have taken place lately.. big ones. I have been very comfortable and safe in my college city home. My three roommates and I are all best friends, but things changed for us all. After living together for almost a year, three of us moved away. Taylor is soon to be married, and therefore is in her very own apartment figuring out staying alone until marriage. The rest of us have recently moved away and it has been a huge wave of emotions for us. It has been very stressful because our last few months in our old house we had to keep the home view ready for anyone who wanted to see it to buy. It no longer felt like home to us. We would get off work and not be able to go home and relax due to our house being shown so much. It kept stress and tension high for all us. Eventually we found a home in another city that we fell in love with. The process of buying the home and being able to call it ours was difficult as well. It took a lot of time and work from people, but eventually it became our new home.
With all the stress between still being in school, continuously keeping the house show ready, working 40 hours a week, and leading a bible study, I had no time at all to do what I love.. write. I have missed it and wish I had had time for it since it is how I release stress, but it just was not possible.
Moving was not the plan at all. I knew I had to transfer colleges for graduate school, but as crazy as it sounds, I was not willing to leave the city I had fallen in love with. But as much as I loved the city, it was lonely. My roommates and I found ourselves isolated and lonely towards the end of our time there. It was heartbreaking and taking a toll on each of us in different ways. We began praying about where God wanted us because yes we were willing to stay, but we felt as if we were being pushed out. It is really hard to go from having so many friends, lots of game nights, never being left out, to the exact opposite. It is painful and it genuinely hurt too much. I do not know how to explain it any better than saying we felt trapped and like our lives could not go on there. Not too long after praying God made a way for us to move. We were not sure at first if the answer was really from Him, but doors continued to open for us. One door after another continued to open for us in our new city and it seemed obvious to us what we needed to do. It has been incredible to see because the doors have not stopped opening even though we have already moved. I will be attending a college close by for graduate school and Mack, one of my roommates, has gotten an incredible opportunity to go back to college for a teaching degree. We may have dragged our feet for a bit and been upset, but God has really been showing us what happens when you go where He calls you. I also just landed a job at a brand new speakeasy pizza place in the city! I am stoked to begin working there and I believe it will be super fun as well. Another upside is I am closer to family. It has been hard for me to be so far away from my grandparents and baby cousins. I am now graduated, finally settled into our new home, and getting ready to start graduate school!
Although this whole experience was very sudden and not planned at all, it has taught me many life lessons that will stay with me forever. It has taught me to find the good things in the bad. The good things may seem so small, but once you keep looking at the beauty of the good, they become huge things to you. I know that even if I begin missing the big city, I will find joy and beauty in the joys I gained from moving. If God is calling you somewhere else, even if you are uncomfortable, go. His plan for your life, if you allow Him to lead, will be so much better. I know it may be hard to believe. It was for me. But it has been such a blessing moving. I finally feel I have life to look forward to. Graduate school, a future career I will love, new friends that love Jesus and me as much as I do them, and a HEALTHIER ME. A fresh start is what I have been craving. To be somewhere where no one knows me or has ideas about me in their head due to gossip. A true fresh start. That is what God has given me and I will not take it for granted.
Thank you, God, for this new beginning and healthier me.
Kokonaomi
