Finding Independence

At this point in our lives we have spent more time under our parents rules than we have our own. Because of this, moving away to college and completely being on your own can seem really scary. For me, I was terrified. I was a young, extremely dependent person on my parents and friends. The summer I moved to Chattanooga I fully believed I would end up back at home because of how homesick I had gotten. When I tell you I was terrified, I am dead serious, no exaggeration. I was physically ill almost everyday for the first few months away from home.

I highly encourage joining a campus ministry as soon as you can once you begin college. I push for this so much because it is how I found my independence and the amazing community I am surrounded with.

Through the ministry I joined, I have had a handful of AMAZING women who have helped me tremendously in my spiritual life. College confused me bad spiritually. I began becoming confused on the gray areas, like alcohol, tattoos, cussing, etc. This is because I had never experienced “Christians” the way I have here. It is not my place to judge anyone’s heart or spiritual life, but a persons’ fruit says a lot. I was seeing a lot of professed Christians living double lives. Sunday church goers became Friday night partiers and my mind became full of questions towards God. I followed the crowd after deciding I was giving up on the confusion and I pushed my spiritual life to the deepest part of my mind. Little did I know this was just the beginning of a huge spiritual growth for me.

After living out of touch with my spiritual life for a few months, God really knocked on my heart and woke me up. I began to dig up all the questions I had for God and began searching for these answers from God. I spent each week digging into a specific question by looking up verses in the Bible that spoke on the topic. I told God I was coming with a full open-mind and open-heart and wanted answers from Him, not from what I had learned growing up or answered myself. This is where I found my independence. I am firm in my beliefs and opinions now when just a few months ago I was ignoring God completely.

So yes, it may be hard to break away from the opinions of your home town, parents, and friends. It was extremely hard for me. But I encourage you to decide what you believe for yourself. Throw out everything you have been told to believe and allow God to give you those answers. Spend time finding your independence in your spiritual beliefs, political beliefs, the gray areas in the bible, and anything else you may find yourself questioning.

I encourage you to ask God the hard questions and seek the answers from him. Be open to whatever his answer may be and allow him to fill you with knowledge. There were some answers he gave me that I did not like at all, but the answer was the answer. We are not going to like all the answers given to us in life, but do not shut God out just because you do not like an answer he gave you. I promise living the way God asks us to and completely surrendering our lives to him brings immeasurable joy.

Helpful tools for seeking answers: The Bible, google (to find verses on a topic), books (read Chasing Elephants by Brent Crowe on the Gray areas!), and mentors to help you through this thought process and to help you understand what God is really saying.

You are not alone on this journey.

KokoNaomi